Love and Sex
Lets’ Get It On
Love and sex are intimately entangled. Let the witty double-entendre begin! Some would even say that you can’t have one without the other. In reality, ideas about sex and its role in a loving (or loveless) relationship are much more complicated and involve your own personal thoughts about what being “in love” means, what is acceptable socially and even what religion says about sex. Break out your chastity belt (or toss it out if you so choose), because it’s time to have a frank and open discussion about love and sex.
He Said, She Said
As varied as the opinions about sex are in the general population, the thought process for men and women is so completely different that you might think the two genders come from different planets. What was that book called again?
Men think about sex, according to the Kinsey Report, every single day, often multiple times a day. That’s really no surprise right? How many times have you caught your guy giving you that “come hither” look? How many times have you caught some random guy giving you bedroom eyes? That’s just the way it is. However, men get such a bad rap when it comes to how much they actually think about doing the deed. In comparison to women fantasize about sex only slightly less than the average man on any given day. Surprise! Women can be just as pre occupied with sex as men.
While many women between the ages of 21 and 45 say that there can be no sex without love, an equal number of women say that love isn’t absolutely necessary. For women, feelings about sex are much more closely tied to feelings of acceptance and self worth.
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
Ah love, that quintessential emotion. Love conquers all, all you need is love, and you get the idea? Love is important in any meaningful relationship, but is it necessary when it comes to sex? It really depends on who you ask. Lots of people have a few skeletons in their closet. Those old bones most often deal with hooking up with some guy or girl your freshmen year of college because they were “hot”. So, no, love isn’t a pre requisite for sex if you are single and want to stay that way. However, if you want to maintain a lasting, meaningful connection with someone, love is incredibly important.
That Old Adage
Stereotypes about gender roles also come into play when love and sex are involved. Traditional gender roles require a man to be some blundering oaf wanting a fresh steak on the table while his woman lives only to serve him. Men and women’s roles in society have changed and so too have society’s attitudes about love and sex. Women initiate sex as often as men and both men and women need to be shown love and affection. As the dynamic between men and women change, these old antiquated ideas will, with any luck, fall by the wayside.